Of how things could really be
Of how what’s wrong could be right
Of how life could be easier
Of how the pain could cease

Looking up at the pie in the sky
Dreams unfulfilled, the frustration
Of knowing things can’t change
That they’ll always be the same

Of how God wants things to be
Of meeting the one he’s chosen for you
Of the real career he has for you
Of the opportunities he’ll bring your way

Not pie, but real dreams…
The dreams of what will be
The certainty of change
For the better, not the worse.

Of a day when I can trust God
When my fears let go of me
When I run into his arms
And I know what true love is

When I look
In His eyes
I know
not our love

but God’s


(me, 8.55pm, 30 August 2000)
I’ve started dreaming again.

And it’s good dreams.

You may have heard of Bruce Wilkinson, who wrote the Prayer of Jabez. He also wrote a book called The Dream Giver, which is an absolutely incredible book about the big dreams God plants in each of us, and the like of which I have held in my heart for many many years.

Since I was prayed with on my birthday by some of the WPRT folk, things have been getting better for me, and I’ve woken up to this dream of being someone who sings, plays and speaks the truth about God to people who need his grace, ragamuffins like myself. Who speaks the truth of God’s word when Christians deny it. Who gets to apply the organisational, administrative and problem solving gifts God has given him. Who has sacrificed this dream to God as his dream, not mine, and who actually wants to glorfiy God non-stop.

Whatever happens.

So I’m dreaming, and I’ve given it to God. Next step: leave it with him.

Step after: wait and see what he gives me back, because I want to walk this with him. I’m determined not to end up back in the desert yet again, wasting time I could be following God and living by faith instead of getting lost in my misery.

Step after that: I think that XtremeEvents.org is going to cease to exist at the end of this month. Watch this space.

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